Fun facts: nine things you need to know about Madeira

Don’t you dare arrive on the island wearing a Lionel Messi top. The love and devotion the people of Madeira have for the island’s son, Cristiano Ronaldo, who has a museum and a statue in the centre of Funchal, is genuine, and you are asking for trouble if you start talking about CR7’s arch enemy. Cristiano Ronaldo is worshipped on Madeira, and the people are never short of things to say about all the good he has done for the island, from his personal donations to promoting the island as a destination. It is no accident that even the island’s airport is named after the Portuguese football player.

If you are one of those people who can’t live without the sun, this is the right place for you. Whatever the month or the season, the temperatures are mild and the sun shines. That’s not to say it doesn’t rain or that there are no thunderstorms, but these things pass quickly. Don’t worry; just fill your bag with T-shirts.

The one item of clothing you really should not forget to bring with you to Madeira is your swimming costume. Because even when it is cool enough that you need to wear a light jacket, the sea temperature is always around 19 ºC. That means you can go swimming, even on 31 December. Visiting Madeira without swimming in the sea is like going to Rome and not visiting the Vatican.

It’s one of the events that marks the arrival of spring on the island, and it attracts visitors from around the world. Carpets of flowers are created to cover all the main roads of central Funchal, bringing colour and fragrance to the city. The festival’s main attraction is the Cortejo Alegórico da Flor (floral grand procession), with dozens of decorated floats making their way through the streets decorated with flowers and with people in costume.

Pau da poncha and mexelote are the most common names for this handmade magic wand that is used to mix the ingredients of poncha, which is one of the island’s typical drinks, and also one of its most dangerous (it look like a fruit juice, but my, my). But the slang name is caralhinho, and every visitor’s face turns red when they hear the word for the first time. But say it without fear and take a caralhinho home with you. To make poncho, right.

Madeira’s Carnival festivities begin on the Friday before and continue until Shrove Tuesday, and the partying doesn’t stop between those days. There is a parade with samba schools invading the streets of Funchal, all dressed up and dancing to rival the Rio parade, while there is also another parade, the Trapalhão (Fumbler), which is open to anyone in fancy dress. Both parades follow their own defined routes and end in the Praça Municipal, where the party continues with live music and fancy dress contests. It is usual for hotels to include dance and music shows with some of the island’s carnival groups in their programmes at this time of year. It’s a really serious party.

It’s one of the biggest pyrotechnic shows in the world. The Madeiran tradition of letting off fireworks on New Year’s Eve began during the 18th century, when the British community living on the island had their own fireworks displays to mark the new year. A century later, the Madeiran banker João José Rodrigues Leitão resurrected the tradition, and from then on the island’s wealthiest families began to compete with each other with their displays, leading to a pyrotechnic display that could be seen from far and wide. In 2006 this show gained international recognition when the Guinness Book of Records officially recognised it as “the world’s largest fireworks display”.

It might sound like a cliché, but all Madeirans will tell you that it is well worth the effort to wake up early to catch the sunrise, just as no-one should miss the sunset on the island. The idyllic scenery helps transform the start and the end of the day into an unforgettable moment, whether seen from the highest parts of the island (often with a show of clouds that lead to photographs worth framing), or whether you are down on the beach. If the weather is looking uncertain, then there are webcams at the main viewpoints on the island that you can visit online so you don’t make a wasted trip.

In Madeiran slang there are names for the people from continental Portugal, Madeirans with a strong accent, people from Câmara de Lobos and even for those on the neighbouring island of Porto Santo. Don’t just repeat them randomly, because not everyone agrees on the terminologies, but we’ll tell you them anyway: Cubanos are people from continental Portugal. It is believed they got this name around the time of the 25 April 1974 revolution as a comment on the new political direction the country was taking. It has lost the political connotation over the years, but the name remains. Vilhões or Vilhonas are the island men and women, respectively, who have a very strong accent, Xavelhas are natives of Câmera de Lobos, while the calm and collected Profetas come from Porto Santo.